Saturday, October 24, 2009


Normal is surprisingly scary at Halloween. Large cranes overshadow the Post Office, like giant arms ready to reach down and grab unsuspecting Uptowners. Orange and white barrels form mazes which vehicles enter only to disappear forever. Railroad crossing gates go up-and-down randomly, daring us to try our luck at passing beneath them without getting cut in half. Darkened patches of rough surface on College Avenue yawn ahead like camouflaged tar pits, waiting to swallow and preserve us for future research. Squirrels with sharp little teeth dart about, looking for pedestrians to bite. Budget cuts and increased fees are discussed by Town Council “men and women” (or are they aliens?), frightening all residents. The Marriott Hotel reduces the IQ of those who enter late at night, even putting them into a trance. Some streets (East Beaufort) are opened while other streets (Ft. Jesse) are closed, adding a fun-house like confusion to the driving experience. Stores display Halloween items right next to Christmas items, determined to cast a pall over the yuletide. And the scariest of all: those drivers around you, talking on their cell phones, swerving and running red lights. Self-absorbed dolts or ghouls out to get you? Enjoy a frighteningly Normal Halloween!!

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