Normal Carol Parody

Uptown Normal’s Nearly Complete
(To the tune “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”)

Oh! You better watch out
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I’m telling you why:
Uptown Normal’s nearly complete!

It’s taken a while,
It’s been a real pain,
But now we can smile
And drive through again.
Uptown Normal’s nearly complete!

The Marriott is open,
The curbs are all in place.
And when you use the Parking Deck,
There’s no scowl upon your face.

But there’s no need to drive,
The Trail’s right there.
So hop on a bike
And get some fresh air.
Uptown Normal’s nearly complete!

The residents come.
The students do, too.
They think it’s awesome,
So shiny and new!
Uptown Normal’s nearly complete!

The landscaping is pretty.
The Traffic Circle’s fun.
And we’ll have a great big party
When this project’s finally done.

So, take time this fall!
There’s no more delay!
Come see what Normal
Looks like today!
Uptown Normal’s nearly complete!

From the past two years:

Uptown Wonderland
(To the tune “Winter Wonderland”)

Detour signs do confound us
While the cranes all surround us.
It’s a chaotic sight
That’s got us uptight
Driving through the Uptown Wonderland.

When you come, you’re a-hopin’
That the street will be open
But parking’s alright
Well, just late at night
Driving through the Uptown Wonderland.

In the morning you can come for breakfast
And enjoy the quiet, there’s no doubt.
But if you leave when too much time has passed
Beer trucks will be blocking your way out.

Thank Mayor Koos, when you see him,
That there’s no Coliseum!
Enjoy our town
Even though it’s torn down
Driving through the Uptown Wonderland
(Can you say “work zone”?)
Driving through the Uptown Wonderland!

It’s Beginning to Look Too Much Like Normal
(To the tune “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”)

It’s beginning to look too much like Normal
Everywhere you go.
Try to get to the Garlic Press
Avoiding construction mess
And there’s another detour through the snow.

It’s beginning to look too much like Normal
Traffic cones in stacks.
But the scariest sound you’ll hear
Is the Amtrak’s whistle near
While you’re on the tracks.

A finished circle for cars as they go to the bars
Is the wish that drivers would send.
A bike path that’s clear with pedestrians near
Is the best environment’s friend.
And Chris and Mark can hardly wait for all of this to end!

It’s beginning to look too much like Normal
Traffic lights galore –
Towanda and Shelbourne’s gain;
What a hassle at Raab and Main!
And there’s the one outside the new Shnuck’s store.

It’s beginning to look too much like Normal
When will it be done?
‘Cause our patience is running out
And I’m sure they hear us shout
Down in Bloomington.