TON Newspaper Dispensing Device Czar/Czarina

I always enjoy seeing what the combination of government and bureaucracy produces. Government involves centralized efforts to get things done for citizens, and bureaucracy involves specifically designated positions to handle certain duties. The two combined usually result in a proliferation of positions, each with a very limited list of duties. A perfect example of this is Normal’s proposal for a “Newspaper Dispensing Device Commissioner.”

Ok, if you’re done laughing, I’ll explain. In the past, there have been numerous newspaper vending machines in the Uptown Normal area. With Uptown’s new look, the Town doesn’t want a bunch of individual, ugly newspaper vending machines detracting from the view, but does want to continue to make it convenient for people to buy a newspaper. So, the Town is proposing an ordinance to identify Uptown as a “Modular Newsrack District,” with the Town purchasing and maintaining attractive, modular newspaper dispensing devices that can hold up to 16 publications.

Of course, someone has to maintain the dispensing devices as well as make arrangements with the various publishers who want their papers included in them. Thus, the position of Newspaper Dispensing Device Commissioner was born. If you were hoping to apply for the position so you could put that title on your resume, sorry, but that position automatically goes to the Director of Public Works or someone designated by the Director of Public Works.

And you thought your employer added odd duties to your job description. . .