Normal Theatrics

There's a Broadway show called "Next to Normal." It's a musical about pain and anguish! Obviously, it's not about our town. What would a musical about Normal, Illinois, include? Probably not cats, cowboys, sailors, or a carnivorous plant. Maybe farmers, insurance company employees, and college students? And the setting would include corn/soybean fields, college campuses, lots of restaurants, and a traffic circle.

Possible songs included: "Oh, What a Wind-Driven Snowfall!," "Menus," "Feed Me, Waiter!," and "There Ain't Nothin' Like a Quad!"

Now that I've come up with those song titles, some lyrics have popped into my head:

"Oh, What a Wind-Driven Snowfall!" -- Oh, what a wind-driven snowfall. Oh, what a bitter cold day. I've got a frostbitten feelin' winter's not goin' away. All the cars on the streets sliding sideways. All the cars on the streets sliding sideways. The schools are all closed and State Farm has shut down. But the restaurants are busy all over this town! Oh, what a wind-driven snowfall. Oh, what a bitter cold day. I've got a frostbitten feelin' winter's not goin' away.

"Menus" -- Menus, from our favorite restaurants, with the wonderful entrees, and desserts we all love. Fancy wine lists and a la carte items offered to us. Let us order one of each from above.

"There Ain't Nothin' Like a Quad!" -- There ain't nothin' like a quad. Nothin' in the world. There ain't nothin' you can sod that is anything like a Quad.