Normal's Bicycling Proponent, et al.

There was an article in Sunday's (9/27/09) Parade about the Mayor of Columbia, Missouri, promoting bicycling in that town. He wants to transform it "into one of the nation’s premier cycling cities." The Mayor of Boston also advocates cycling. And, of course, our own Mayor of Normal, Chris Koos, is the quintessential bicycling proponent. Hhhmmmm, what is it with Mayors and bicycles??

Normal Skateboarding Ordinance

At the September 21 meeting, the Normal Town Council will consider approval of an ordinance prohibiting skateboarding in Uptown Normal. I "bing-ed" "skateboarding laws" and found that San Francisco has addressed this issue very thoroughly. They have a Skateboarding Task Force and the San Francisco City and County law regarding skateboarding states that they prohibit skateboarding "on any city street at any time, on any sidewalk in any business district at any time, and on any non-business district sidewalk commencing 30 minutes after sunset and ending 30 minutes before sunrise (Traffic Code, Section 100)."

Is the need for such an ordinance due to: a) an overabundance of skateboarders in or near Uptown; b) a lack of knowledge on the part of "young" people (some are probably not so young) who skateboard regarding where it's inappropriate to do so; or c) unnecessary concern about this potential problem?

Skateboards: Not In Our Uptown!

Normal-See (Normalcy, get it?)

Wouldn't it be great if someone climbed to the top of that stairway and took some pictures?

Normal 9/11 Memorial?

The New York Times has an article about how a local government can acquire a piece of steel collected from the World Trade Center site after September 11, 2001. It's a way for people to create a local memorial out of actual material from "Ground Zero." Many of the pieces are quite large but they also have smaller pieces. No charge for the steel but the recipient has to pay to have the piece transported to their location. I wonder if anyone would be interested in having a 9/11 memorial in Normal.

Normal Needs Your Vote!

Less than 2 weeks until the winner of the Toshiba contest between Normal and Boring is announced. Normal is far behind in votes at this point. PLEASE VOTE EACH WEEK!

Go to www.boringvsnormal.com , wait for the page to load, click on the "Normal" button and fill out your information in the pop-up box. Then vote by clicking on the "Normal" button AGAIN. A thank-you should pop up. (I haven't received any spam as a result of giving my email address.)

Wouldn't it be great to win? PLEASE VOTE!

Normal Joe

Just wanted to say a few things about Joe McCauley, who died on Friday, August 21, 2009. He was a one-of-a-kind, laid-back guy. Always said hello in the hallway and at the start of this semester, after saying hello, he said, "A lovely first day of classes!" Heartland won't be the same without him.

Yeah, Joe, it was a lovely first day of classes. Thanks for pointing that out and brightening my day.

Normal Quotes and Adages

Summer has officially ended and the college students have returned. Here are some famous quotes and adages that, when slightly altered, might be relevant to Normal college students:

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." (Winston Churchill)
Altered: “I have nothing to offer but some leftover take-out and a can of beer.”

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light." (Albert Schweitzer)
Altered: “Sometimes our light goes out and we realize that our roommate hasn’t paid the power bill. Pay the bill and rekindle the light already!”

"Half a loaf is better than none." Altered: “Half a pizza is better than half a loaf.”

"He who hesitates is lost." Altered: “He who hesitates to go through a yellow light is late to class.”

"He who laughs last laughs longest." Altered: “He who laughs last shows that he didn’t get the joke.”

"He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword." Altered: “He who lives by Wikipedia, flunks.”

"Rome wasn't built in a day." Altered: “Uptown Normal and campus buildings aren’t completely built until you’ve graduated.”

"Starve a fever, feed a cold." Altered: “Feed a fever and a cold with all of the comfort foods you can afford.”

"Many hands make light work." Altered: “Many hands make plagiarized papers.”

"Misery loves company." Altered: “Misery loves company and watching YouTube videos of public humiliation.”

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Altered: “Beauty is in the bloodshot eyes of the last person to leave a bar or a party.”

"Necessity is the mother of all invention." Altered: “The necessity of passing a test is the mother of creative, rambling essay answers.”

"What goes around comes around." Altered: “What goes around the Uptown traffic circle comes around again as the driver tries to figure out where to exit.”

Welcome back!

Normal Summer Fun?

Actual lines from the 2009 Town of Normal Parks & Recreation Summer Program Guide:

What is your child going to do this summer?
This hitting clinic is designed to teach boys and girls the fundamentals of hitting.
Focus is placed mostly on style and loosely on technique.
Be ready for a sticky mess as soda eruptions will be involved!
Children will be having so much fun they won’t even know they are learning, while caregivers develop tools to use at home.
Everyone will leave tired and ready for bed, ending the night with lullabies by popular artists.
This course does not provide a certification of any type but does give students valuable experience toward future employment.

By registering for a program, the registrant agrees to hold the Town of Normal harmless from any damages caused by participation in the program.

Stop for summer fun!

Normal vs. Normal Heights

There’s a neighborhood in San Diego, California, named Normal Heights. How does it compare to Normal, Illinois?

Similarities include the fact that it was named for a State Normal School, it has a used book store, an authentic Irish pub, and a coffee house (a “hipster hangout” with an adjoining performance space for musical entertainment). Also, it originally had a trolley line, it’s sometimes referred to as ‘Abnormal’, and it has crowded apartment dwellings and single-family homes.

Some of the differences are that it’s a neighborhood (not a town) platted in 1906 (not 1865), it’s described as “funky” and “sometimes rowdy” (probably not how we’d describe Normal), it has a San Diego Cheesecake Company (I wish!) and an “Antique Row” (instead of rows and rows of new houses) and “everything of interest” is located along Adams Avenue (not Beaufort/North St. or Veteran’s Parkway). Also, a carpenter (not a lawyer/tree-planter) was responsible for the main business development.

In spite of the differences, it’s nice to know that there are other, Normal folks.

Normal Marriott/Camelot

Normal’s “Marriott” Song:

The site was cleared a distant moon ago here
The building now has grown to fill the lot.
And there’s a fancy sign upon the front here
At Marriott.
The grill is named for founder Jesse Fell, wow!
A name that Normal never has forgot.
Would Jesse drink the beer there, who can tell now?
At Marriott.
Marriott! Marriott!
I know it sounds a bit upscale,
But at Marriott, Marriott
That’s how they tell the tale.
The guests will have their choice of parking spaces.
And swimming makes the stress all disappear.
In short, there’s simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-hoteling than here
At Marriott.

Marriott! Marriott!
I know it’s quite a sight to see,
But at Marriott, Marriott
It’s where the best will want to be.
The Presidential suites are on the ninth floor.
The Theatre has never been so near.
In short, there’s simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-hoteling than here
At Marriott.

Normalized Quotes

“Illinois. Normal, Illinois.”

"My Mama always said, 'Normal is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'"


"I'll be back, Normal."


"Well, it's not the Normal men in your life that count, it's the life in your Normal men."


"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into Normal’s."


"It's Normal! It's Normal!"


"I vant to be in Normal."


"I don't know nothin' about Normal."


"As God is my witness, I'll never leave Normal again!"


"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Normal anymore."


"...and oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like Normal."


"We'll always have Normal."


"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy Normal night."


"Normal! Nooooorrrrrmaaaaal!"


"...You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Does Normal feel lucky?' Well, does it, punk?"

“It was the best of Normal, it was the worst of Normal.”


“My name is Normal.”


“In the beginning God created the heaven and Normal.”


“It was a dark and stormy Normal night.”

Normal Parallel Parking Peril

I drove on North Street this morning. I was curious about the new parallel parking spaces that have replaced the old diagonal spaces. There are two spaces between each of the curb “bump-outs” (not sure what the official term is for those). I was kind of hoping for just one space between them, which would eliminate any worry about clumsy parallel parkers. I’m not a fan of parallel parking. Maybe lots of people are anti-parallel. (Hey, where were you people when the new parking spaces design was being discussed?!)

I searched the internet for information about parallel parking. I couldn’t find any statistics about bumper bumping but there were articles about “dooring,” where someone is exiting or entering a parallel-parked vehicle and a bicyclist hits the door as it is being opened. There were also lots of videos showing how to parallel park, and some articles about new devices to aid in this process. For people who enjoy trying to parallel park without the risks, there are animated games that challenge you to successfully parallel park a cartoon car.

If I have to use one of these PP spaces, I guess I’ll look for one that shares space with an already-parked motorcycle or other small vehicle. Not looking forward to circling and circling and circling the block…

Normal Marriott Marvel

I just want to say a few things about the new Marriott Hotel in Uptown Normal. I think that it was nice to name the grill in the hotel “Jesse’s,” after Jesse Fell. It seems like hotels always have quirky names for their eateries and it would have been easy for this hotel to follow suit. But they chose a name with local significance and I appreciate that. I also think that the two presidential suites are a nice touch. Perhaps local fundraisers could offer a two-night stay in one of the suites as a prize??

Normal Roadway Mix-Up

Time for another word scramble. See if you can unscramble the following names of roadways that are either completely or partially in Normal:

dinnel
arab
elfe
loglece
burmyler
vonner
lardoon
notadaw
eggyorr
rikspade
idealdea
hotworrn
steervan
egotcat
vyhoe
abadrywo
afterobu

Normal Halcyon Days

Aaahhh, July, the calm before the storm. And by storm, I refer to the back-to-school season with its hordes of people buying school supplies (for the younger students) and room/apartment amenities (for the college students). Who doesn’t enjoy trying to get down the grocery aisle only to be delayed by parents and their college-age offspring trying to decide which brand of peanut butter is best, or by a knot of twenty-somethings stocking up on munchies? And who can resist the excitement of driving behind a vehicle loaded down with people, possessions, and a precariously balanced mattress on the roof?

Another August, another academic calendar begins. My entire life since the age of 6 has been scheduled according to the school season. I even still watch the early news on snowy winter mornings to see which schools are closed! I never thought I’d be doing that this “late” in life. But I don’t think I can ever get out of the academic cycle and, since I looked forward to going back to school as a student (up through college, at least), I guess I still kind of like the anticipation of a new school year and the promise of learning that it presents. I do miss buying a brand new pink eraser and box of watercolor paints, though.

Normal MTC: A Timely Addition

There was a presentation of the design for the Normal Multimodal Transportation Center at the July 6 meeting of the Normal Town Council. It showed a four-story building with the fourth floor set back enough to create a terrace (which I think they said would be “green” but not accessible). The distinguishing exterior feature of the building is a clock, which appeared to be round and analog. I’m wondering if it will be backlit at night.

What is unique about this transportation center is that the third floor will contain offices for Normal staff and the fourth floor will have meeting space (for Council meetings and other gatherings). What would it be like to have an office above a very busy, public place that is never closed? Would it be noisy? Will there be sound-proofing? The issue of security for the office area is being discussed. That’s a big issue in this case, especially with access to each floor from the attached parking garage. The proposed design of the fourth-floor area for Council meetings is a huge improvement over the current meeting space. Someone should make sure that the new chairs for audience members are comfortable.

I hope that there is funding for this building and I am looking forward to seeing what Normal will look like when all of these new buildings and streetscapes are complete. I was starting to feel at home in the “old” Normal but to be honest, it really did look shabby (but not chic). Before we know it – tempus fugit – the “new” Normal will be here.

Normal Sugar Creek Arts/Jewelry Festival

This was the third time that I attended the Sugar Creek Arts Festival. The first time I went was the most enjoyable, probably because it was something new. This time, I was kind of disappointed in the lack of variety of types of art. There was a lot of jewelry. I enjoy looking at jewelry and, in fact, I bought a piece of jewelry (fulfilling my quota for the rest of the year, considering what I spent). But there were so many displays of jewelry and paintings/drawings and not as many displays of pottery and other types of art that it felt somewhat repetitive. The quality of everything was very good, though, and I appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of what the artists have created.

I’m not sure what possesses people to take their dogs to the Festival. Do the dogs like art or do the owners want attention? Even without heat from sunshine, the high level of humidity must have been unpleasant for the dogs (it was for me!). And the brief sprinkles were enough to create a wet-dog smell that even the aromas from the few food vendors couldn’t overpower.

Maybe when the Festival moves back into the Uptown area, where there are shops to visit in between viewing the art displays, it will take on a more festive atmosphere and it will at least seem like there is more variety. I’m looking forward to it.

Normal Headlines

Headlines that you will probably never see:

“Normal Town Council Spends Money and Residents are Happy”

“No Road Work in Normal”

“ISU Students Return to Normal and No One Notices”

“Normal Bars Closing Due to Declining Alcohol Sales”

“Normal Town Council Meeting Erupts into Shouts, Punches, and Chair Throwing”

“Gridlock at the Normal Traffic Circle”

“Normal Unit 5 Reduced to Unit 2.5 Due to Population Decline”

“New Commission Addresses the Lack of Geese, Pigeons, and Starlings in Normal”

“Normal Restaurants Empty on Friday Nights”

“Normal Teeming with Single Men Over the Age of 30”

“Spring Arrives in Normal with No Potholes”

Normal Values

If you ask someone what the values are in Normal, the answer would probably include family, education, safety, and environmental responsibility. But one way to find evidence of what the values really are in Normal is to look at what resources and events the town provides that are above and beyond the basic necessities (such as education and safety). For example, I think it’s very clear that Normal highly values the arts, as evidenced by the Connie Link Amphitheatre and the events that take place there, the Sugar Creek Arts Festival, the Normal Theater, and the Harmon Arts Grants. The Constitution Trail, Ironwood Golf Course, many of the Parks and Recreation programs, and the Bicycle and Pedestrian Master Plan show that physical activity is also a Normal value. A third Normal value is environmental responsibility, which underlies the creation of the Green Team, LEED certification for Uptown (and other) buildings, plans for the “green” house next to Underwood Park, and the recycling stations around town.

A close examination of Normal’s budget would probably reveal other values. As to how certain values get translated into dollars spent by the town, it is probably a combination of the influence of people (elected officials, town staff members, citizens), availability of resources, and community support for the resulting projects. And community support probably changes over time, so there may have been projects in Normal’s past that declined in popularity over time so the town stopped funding them.

So, if you are planning to move to a new town and want to know what the real values are in that town, examine the budget and the town-sponsored resources and events.

Normal Bicyclists' Bones

[This topic is indirectly related to Normal since there is an effort to encourage more bicycling in the local area.] A New York Times blog describes studies that find lower bone densities among male competitive bicyclists in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. They aren’t sure if the lack of calories consumed or the amount of sweating contributes to the bone density loss. Even though they say that recreational bicyclists probably don’t have to worry about this issue, it’s still a good idea to be aware of this potential problem. So, if you’re a dedicated bicyclist in Normal or elsewhere, keep tabs on your bone density. And please, eat a burger once in a while!